At the unveiling of the headstone of Barry Goodman

Kymn Goodman

May 2010



The headstone is so much more than a marker. It is a lasting tribute to the person you loved, who loved you back, and a monument to their identity. How to find the right words? How on earth, do you do it justice? I chose to honour my beloved with references to his names, his love and his art.


Baruch Tov ben Bluma v'Shlomo

June 5th 1965 - July 25th 2009


Your love is a blessing forever stitched in our hearts.


A Hebrew blessing begins with the word Baruch, Barry's name. When we say a blessing, we thank God for something. I always said I felt Barry coming into my life was a gift from God and I was very grateful. Blessing also describes the simultaneous giving & receiving there was in relationship with Barry. It was truly a blessing to know him and to love him. He was so interesting, so entertaining, so humourous and always surprised me with his vast knowledge about so many things. To be known by him was also a blessing, for he could be so kind, so compassionate, so giving, and a very loyal friend. He tried, very hard, to also be a really good dad. I wanted the word "love" etched in his stone because Barry had a great capacity to love me, and others. He had the perfect arms for it too. With his passing, it is love that is left behind in his wake.


There is a list of the roles he played in life: Loving husband, father to Jason & Mark, zaidie to Rory, son to Bunny, brother to Esther & Myron, and artist. The list is by no means complete for he was also son-in-law to Fay, uncle, cousin, brother-in-law, and dear friend to many. Though not common, I included artist in this list because it was the closest relationship he had with anyone. It was with himself, who he was in solitude; it was his journey and his purpose. For Barry, there was no distinction between Barry the artist and Barry the man. They were one and inseparable; the creative artist and the artistic man. He saw everything in life through the eyes and the hands of an artist.


Chiselled on the side of the stone in front are two stitched hearts, to emphasize his place eternally and forever in our hearts. They reference his art and stitched portraits. It was ironically one of the very few designs that are allowed in this cemetery, and it was perfect. Next to the hearts is "a good man" which refers to his middle name Tov meaning good and our last name Goodman, of course.  He was also a Gevalt Holy man, and a deep & critical-thinking man, and a creative, inspiring man, and so much more. But all I could fit on was a good man. You'll have to fill in the rest when you look at it.





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